America's Sad Little Videos
by pompom1124
Summary: T for future chapters... America decides to post videos of himself on Facebook to 'share' his problems.
1. Chapter 1

**America pulls out a camera and dusts it off. He then cleans the screen and tried to turn it on recording.**

_Scrchhhhh_

Is this -_kshhhhh_- damn -_scrchhhh_- on? -_shhhrrrr_- wait a sec -_shhhhhkkkk_-

Is it good? Ya'll can hear me clearly?

Perfect.

To start off I'll tell you a few things.

I'm a weird one ya' know.

Just because my hair's a golden wheat color, my eyes a crystal blue, my height structured perfectly and lean, my smile rivaling diamonds, it doesn't mean anything at all.

Nothing. Not even a grain.

I hate everything about myself. They way everyone takes me as a fool. As I'm nothing but a piece on a chessboard.

Well guess what?

I'm the king. And someone's about to throw me off the board.

I got a noose as a necklace, knives as nails, pills for teeth, and much more.

Funny thing is this gonna go on Facebook eventually so yeah...gotta wait a bit until that happens...

I'm a living nightmare.

I have tried so many times. But damn my life as a nation. I hung myself one time. After an hour, my breath wasn't even lacking. So I got off and had to wear a scarf in the middle of July. To the world meetings. Totally not suspicious.

Another time I ate 16 prescription pills and then swallowed some beer. England burst in demanding for me to return something. When he saw me on the ground, he called the doctors and they had to pump my stomach. Gross.

Funny thing is I think he started avoiding me a bit after that...

Don't get me started on the knives. Oh wait never mind. Well let's say I tried and ended up losing a good 5 liters. And somehow survived.

Trying to shoot myself you say? I tried every trick in the fucking book. I tried decapitation but that idea kinda seemed fucked up...

I'm a walking mishap.

**Camera falls off table and gets a bit scratchy.**

-_shhhrrrrkkkk_- fuck -_shhcccchhhh_- hear -_chhhhhhsh_- now?

Hold -_shhhhhkkk_- on.

Is it working?

...

Yeah it is. This thing is a piece of crap so deal with it. Now where was I...Oh yeah.

I tried a shrink but that didn't work out so well. Let's just say now he has a restriction warrant on me.

But yeah here I am. In my big room, walls painted white, the drapes red, my bed blue.

Sitting here.

Doing nothing.

...hmm...

I think I'm losing it.

Why do I want to harm myself so badly?

Well because the world can be better off without me ya know?

No?

Still think I'm nuts?

Figures.

But I should start what I wanted to.

Ok then...

Hello. My name is Alfred F. Jones. I am over two hundred years old. And I have been suicidal ever since the Great Depression. I am hated by all, worshiped by none, liked by few, cared by no one.

And I can say the same about myself.

I don't really care about you other nations out there. You know that right?

No?

Well now you do.

Reason I help you? To get more allies. Transport and Trade. Money. Forget respect, I lost that loooong time ago.

Crap got off of topic again.

Oh well too bad.

Ya know what's funny? My age.

I'm around two hundred thirty...And I'm an 'adult'...right...

America turns to the side and looks at the door.

Hm... Thought I heard something... Probably my stomach... Anyways...

Uh yeah fun fact. Most nations at 200 were fucking pint sized! England was a twerp. Or so they say. So I'm supposed to be like two feet tall or whatever but instead I'm like...uh...alot!

...Wait what was the purpose of this video again?

Crap...

Damn I'm going to get some coffee to fuel my brain.  
Anyways wanted to say that I'm sorry for being suicidal and blah blah...wait...

I was going to say that...Ohhhhhhhh...but now I fucked it up...damn...

Well I'm gonna post this on FB. In a few weeks I'll make another one.

Honestly my life is fucked up and everything's so useless and crappy.

And right now I'm just not happy. Where did the years go? Where I could laugh and play without looking behind my back thinking about who was going to stab me in the back.

Where has my life gone? Bye guys. And help me.

**America reached to turn off the camera. Everything goes black.  
-3-3-3-**

This video was posted on Facebook on October 14, 2013.

Views: 34,567  
Views that were countries: 2  
Countries that saw this:  
Sealand, who thought this was a joke  
France, who got bored the first five seconds.  
Comments: 1  
_I'm so sorry. :'(_  
-pompom1124

-3-3-3  
**A/N**

**This is NOT a real video it never was posted on FB! I don't have a FB!  
I know this seems a bit crappy but it will get better. Reviews are counted as FB comments and will be posted on the next chapter as a comment so it would be as if you actually saw the video. So please Review! Suggestions on what America should put on his videos welcomed!**

**Ps: I'm really happy right now this is just something my imagination stirred up.**


	2. Chapter 2

**America sadly places camera on table and turns it on.**

Uh...hey guys.

Good to know...um...actually there's nothing good to know...

Uhhhh...Damn where do I start?

Oh right ok.

Well Georgia,

First thanks for the Facebook comment. To tell you I'm not a complete idiot so I've heard of you. (you had something to do with a country named Mac. or macaroni right?) Really surprised you were named after my state. (or was it the other way around?)

But yeah I think no one cares. I guess I'm too scared to try. I'll tell you why I'm scared dear, everyone seems to hate me so much. The Cold War, the War of 1812, hell I even hate myself! The Civil War! I guess I'm just afraid of other countries...

**America places hand under chin and starts to think.**

Whatever they tell you is bullshit. I'm scared of them. They same way some smaller nations are 'scared' of me. Not scared scared but...war scared. Maybe because I'm not as powerful as I used to be...

I'm sorry you feel cold and forgotten. And you got some good friends there. But I don't think mine are-

**Camera starts breaking up.**

Piece of -_shhkkkkrrrr_- damn -_shhhaaaaa_-

I gotta get a new camcorder.

I'll try to talk to them about it but I don't think it's going to work. Russia, China, and me are still 'working' things out. China won't listen to me and Russia takes what I say either as a joke or as a form to damage another country. France is to busy fucking some pear or whatever to notice but I'll try. England's been avoiding me remember? And Canada is on the other side of the world doing god knows what shit.

France is my best bet. That is really really bad.

Oh and remind me to hang with you sometime...

But I think I'm just too terrible ya know? How did that rap go?

They love to criticize they always say I change for the worse

And uh...

You've got to face the possibility of dying alone

Yeah that's it.

That rap reminds me of real life shit. It's called the Point of No Return. If you don't like listening to raps just read the lyrics. It's by Immortal Techniques. The lyrics are a bit rude but whatever.

Oh ya wanna know another lyric line?

Like prescription pills when you miss-using them nigga.

Heh so realistic.

**America starts whistling and twirling in swivel chair.**

Nah but Georgia, the talk to your friends won't work but I'll try.

Anyways um...So you've guys heard if the Civil War right?

Fuck yeah you have.

And I literally tore myself in half. Like ACTUALLY in HALF! So I have a pretty high pain endurance. Higher than most nations (except Russia for sure.)

TheLastofUs I love your name. It's awesome. Thanks for sending out the love. I need it considering no one really gives two shits about me that are nations.

And uh speadee thanks. Maybe some countries like me I dunno. Probably the ones that would go bankrupt without me...

I'm not really nice...honestly check out my darkest past and well...Proud to Be an American?

Well in my opinion. Now I'm starting to look at a hero in a different view. I'm not a perfect hero so yeah that sucks.

And the really strong thing?

I think that's cool and shit but just...WTF. Like who the fuck is going to carry around 10 tanks as a practice. Trust me I tried and it wasn't fun.

But what was fun was looking like I had the body of superman!

Fire power!

**America starts flexing like an idiot.**

Heh that was fun.

But uhhh yeah...

Thanks I guess you guys... I gotta get ready for a meeting in a few days so yeahhhh and it's gonna be a really big meeting or whatever.

...

God I hate being m-

**America turns off camera before finishing the sentence.  
-ooooooooo-**

Video #2 was posted on Facebook on October 16, 2013.

Views: 45,987  
Views that were countries: 5  
Country(ies) that saw this:  
Georgia, who was kind enough to give advice and watch the full video.  
seconds.  
Sealand  
Latvia (thought it was a sad movie)  
Philippines (Japan sent her a link)  
Japan (stumbled upon it)

Comments:

You think no one cares, diakh? Did you ever even think about talking face-to-face with the other countries, Amerika? You probably don't know who I am, heck, Sealand's more well known than me and I'm an actual country. This is Georgia, the piece of land under Russia and above Turkey that feels like Greenland; cold and forgotten. From my experiences with your situation, talk to your family or nobody will ever know your problems. Talk to your family, Armenia and Azerbaijan helped me out.  
Mshvidobit'.

~Georgia

I'm sorry, America. I don't hate you, and I know that you are not stupid. At least you are nice, and I'm glad to be one of your citizens. You have accomplished great things, and there are people and countries who like and care about you.  
~speadee

Alfred no! D: We all love you, can't you see that? My heart broke into a million pieces seeing this. If it's of any condolence, I love you. Stay strong.  
~ TheLastofUs

**-3333333322222**

**A/N**

**You can post as nations/micro nations. For the nations I PERFER it being a nation not mention I.E Georgia/I.E Honduras/I.E South Africa whatever.**

**But if you want to comment as a nation like Canada or Germany etc, that is FINE.**

**I dedicate this to everyone who reviewed:**

**Bemony'n'Menisha**

**AmeBel is my Life**

**Speadee**

**TheLastofUs**

**Amy Kitty Katz**

**Updated es early for you dudes ^^**


	3. Chapter 3

**America turns on the camera and smiles. He quickly wiped it off. He seems nervous and fucked up. He was inside a bathroom stall.**

Hey guys...heh wondering why the sudden change of setting? Well turns out somehow my camcorder slipped into my pocket and well I brought it to the meeting with the president who was suuuupppper pissed off. Stress finally struck him. And well...Wait I'm getting ahead of myself. You don't even know why he's so pissed.

Ok so it started a few day after the update of my 2nd video.

I'm feeling pretty good and I wanna try your advice. So there I am walking up to France right? And I'm all like nervous because this isn't easy. IT AINT EASY SHIT YOU GUYS.

So I take a big breath and say,

"Hey France uhh... I need your help."

And he's all like,

"Hmm?" Pulling the scariest curious face ever!

"Dude I have a problem...I'm uh...suicidal..."

And you know what that frog did? He laughed!

"Oh you teenagers trying to get attention. America that's no joking matter."

"I'm serious!"

"America enough. I'm not an idiot. For what reason would you be suicidal? You've got it all. What else do you need?"

"FRANCE!"

"America I don't believe it. And those videos you posted on Facebook are a bit...crude. Really?"

"IT'S TRUE!"

"America I'm sorry but I can't find this to be true. There's never been a suicidal country that I knew except...Never mind. Just stop playing around with those types of things. You're too amazing to be suicidal in all honesty America. I don't see why you should be."

I felt disappointed and broken. I felt as if no one was their for me and that they would gladly watch me jump off a building 100 stories high. What he said hurt me and wrecked me...He came in like a wrecking balllll! Heh. No.

So I. Did what any sensible person would do.

Ran.

The tears streamed down my face and I kept crying until I ran to my house (there was a meeting that day that I hosted). Which made me forget my car and Japan had to drive it here.

And apparently I guess somehow France got worried and somehow that got to his boss who told my boss who's worried but mad at me because England is avoiding me.

But now thinking about it, maybe France has a point? I shouldn't be like this should I? I really got no reason to huh? But that's not what I was thinking then.

So when the meeting started a few hours ago, Obama is really mad at me.

"America." God imitating his voice is hard.

"Yeah?"

"Care to explain why England is avoiding you completely? When I went to that meeting with the Prime Minister, he told me England didn't want to see you in which I got mad at him and the PM. Then we eventually got our senses together. And when I left England seemed as if he wanted nothing to do with you. And France is giving anyone who mentions your name a worried look! As if your going to disappear from the grasp of the Earth! Care to explain?"

And I was like HEEELLL NOOO.

So I said that They were just being typical European weirdos and that honestly I had no clue. Which either he bought that of was too tired to deal with my shit to ask. But then he gave me this really funky weird look.

Like a creepy revenge smile.

And guess what he said?  
-_skkkssshhhh_- I thought -_chhhhhhssssshhh_- fixed -_chhhssssskkkk_-thing...

There? Yup...Crap this toilet seat is a pain...

Anyways he said...

Damn...Why do I look sideways...Oops angles crooked.

Ok. Finally he said

"Well you're gonna figure out why."

And then they walk in!

When England saw me face to face he almost choked and his face fell.

Meanie Limey Bastard.

And France crossed his arms and sighed.

So Obama leaves us, but like hell I know he's secretly listening in.

And we're standing there. I'm wishing I had my headphones on me so I could listen to some Last Resort or Fake it. Pretty good rock/punk songs you guys.

England is avoiding my stare wich is increasing my anger, while France is twirling a strand if hair like a slutty bitch. Ok maybe I just said that to insult him...

Then England breaks the awful silence.

"So frog care to tell me what America had done to piss you off...again?"

"Why don't you ask ze nation? He didn't piss me off its just...I honestly don't know. I don't believe it though."

And they were saying that in front of me. Sure usually we insult each other but this time I knew he meant it. And England knew it too but he didn't say anything. So I said,

"Well I'll tell you if you tell me why the fuck your avoiding me England."

In which the perv exclaimed,

"He doesn't have to answer that. America please just stop. Honestly it doesn't make sense. You're practically a fucking God. Why the hell would you try to commit suicide."

Secret's out.

England looked at me with horror and fear mixed together times ten. I don't know why but I got so fucking mad that I punched the fucking frenchie square in the face. And damn I'll be lying if I said I felt bad after that. I was so pumped up and fueled that I had yelled,

"GOD DAMN MY LIFE!"

And England just stared at me in disappointment. France got up and said,

"It be better if you weren't so violent, Mr. Hero."

I stood there shocked. Violent...? I stared at England who looked away. But I think I saw his head nod a bit.

I saw France's face widen in regret. Ge tried to apologize but as usual I ran like hell.

And then I ended up here...

Oh my god...I'm crying now...Thats weak...

You know I was right.

I average out on the third to fifth most hated country on the earth...

But I love how you guys make me smile and make me feel useful. Philippines, I swear I regret what I did to you. Whatever war I start, most of the times I regret it. Just like Japan. I regretted it once I heard what had happened. I'm truly sorry.

I'm sorry I tried killing myself you guys. I just...no more ya know? And now England knows. Great. But I'll try that meeting. I'll try talking about it. I'll start with either Canada or Japan, because I just punched France, and Britain is probably wondering if I tried any other methods besides the ol' overdose.

Don't know if it will work because, honestly, the Germans can't take control of those guys. We're fucking insane. Some more than others...

And the suicide thing...I think I know why I did it more than once. To either die or feel that rush of pain, like the noose...

But gosh that's fucked up...

What the hell is wrong with me?  
My communication skills are lacking, my pride faltering, my happiness failing,...

WHO THE HELL DID THIS TO ME?!

**America stops yelling when he heard his name called out by England. Then he hears Obama and France's voice. America turns to the camera.**

Sorry you guys for that...ahem...outburst. See you in a few days. I'm gonna try to sneak out so that they don't find me...Don't wanna talk to them right now...

RussianChinaDoll thanks for offering to help me. It means a lot. If I ever need something I now know where to go. Take care.

Quick thanks to Amy Kitty Katz. You should really hangout with Greece. Ya'll know he adores cats...or Katz in this case...Anyways best comment I've read today. Felt pretty awesome being me again. You're the best. I feel so alive when I think of the comment you posted.

Thanks Georgia (state). Your a good kid. Say hello to Florida for me ok? Love ya.

Oh and TheLastofUs thank you for being proud and listing those things. God they make me feel so good right now after everything that happened.

If Canada says he won the war of 1812 complete bullshit ok? That's for everyone. Even if it might be true...I don't even know... Just forget what you teachers said I technically never lost. If anyone asks you said you tell 'em from the nation himself kay?

Kay.

Thanks guys. Posted a poem on my page BTW.

Bye.

**America turns of the camcorder and places it in his pockets. He looks around and see's an air vent. He opens it and starts trying to climb in. England, France, and Obama come in.**

**They are alone.**

Dark Flattering Pain

Pain, it's dark  
Pain, it's flattering

The girl cries because of the abuse  
Wants to grab a rope and make a noose  
Commit Suicide  
Or swim away with the rolling tide  
Pain is Dark.

The girl smiles because she lost a few extra pounds  
Anorexic with stomach problems all around  
But perhaps more boys look her way  
The taunts shimmer away  
Pain is flattering.

For me, pain is both  
I flatter myself  
I feel so close  
To the achievement of all

But pain hurts me inside  
Where everything isn't as fine  
Where I'm broken and tired  
And Pain is the king who has made me a liar

Pain is Dark  
Pain is Flattering

What kind of pain is yours?

Likes:34  
Comments:27

- - - -  
Video #3 was posted on Facebook on October 18, 2013.

Views: 45,987  
Views that were countries: 6  
Country(ies) that saw this:  
Georgia,  
Sealand  
Philippines  
Japan  
Taiwan  
S. Korea

Comments:

I AM proud to be American. You've done so many amazing things in the past, against all odds. You fought the world's LARGEST SUPERPOWER at the time and WON. You had next to nothing in the revolution, and yet, you pulled through. You won the war of 1812, and you were and still are the biggest super power in the world after WWII next to the Soviet Union (or in modern day Russia.) You're an amazing country and I'm blessed to live in your soil  
~TheLastofUs

It's alright, America. You're trying, and I know for sure you are! China or Russia, or any of the other countries had better not say anything about you! You're better than they will ever be. You're the one who actually contributed to other states and countries, like myself. Without you, I'd probably be dead. So never think that you're not worth anyone's time. Just listen to this quote I made up:

"Our path or our friends don't choose who we are. You choose your own path that you choose to lead you."

Stay colorful and strong,

~Georgia(state)

HI! Yes PHilippines watched the vid! Hi, as a Filipino we don't hate America...maybe the Politics side of it and maybe how some shows stereotype Americans in general.

You shouldn't be depressed, maybe it's just hard dealing with all the shit that happened to you at such a young age...maybe I can't understand it being only 16 but I know that there are people out there who want to be friends with you, maybe just intimidated!

Try Philippines, we like u more than Spain even if you killed a million Filipinos in a span of three years than Spain in 333 years. XC...don't be suicidal now.  
~Philippines

America, let me tell you something. Everyone in this world, no matter who they might be-citizen or Nation- both hates and loves people. But, unfortunately, it is easier to admit that we hate someone rather than saying that we love them. And if people say that they hate you, they can be saying only two choices: 1: I hate you. Or 2: I hate that I can't say I love you. Plenty of Nations love you, my dear. You did many things that helped everyone. Both for war and non war relations. Here are a few examples: You sent people to the moon, thus gaining loads of scientific information for the better, created television, film, and music for the world to enjoy-rock n roll came from you!, provided great literature, architecture, and engineering, streamlined production techniques (Harrison Ford), American military created the internet, you give food to poor countries, the list can go on forever.  
Do not be scared of the other countries. No matter what you say about yourself, I will keep telling you you're wrong. You are a strong Nation. Powerful. Lovely, Helpful. Beautiful. There is nothing to hate about you. Do you have flaws? Yes, you do. Do people hate your flaws? Also yes? But do they hate YOU in general? Absolutely not. Nobody can ever hate a person to the core. A person may hate everything that they do, but they can't ever hate someone deep down. Because if something happens to that person, they will realize that they care for them. Like the saying, "You don't know what you have until it's gone" But the other Nations, when they look at you, I think they do believe what a wonderful person they have in their lives, I think that they are refusing to believe it.  
Yes, you do need a new camcorder.  
America, don't ever say that the other Nations don't care about you. They obviously do. If they didn't,, you wouldn't be who you are today. If they didn't, many things wouldn't have happened. In the Rev War, France wouldn't have aided you. China and other countries wouldn't have agreed to trade with you. Without you, the Allies probably would have won WW2. And that's a scary thought.  
America, if the Nations didn't care about you, you obviously wouldn't be here. But you are, so they must care.  
I'm going to tell you to do something, and I want you to do it:  
I want you to have a private meeting with some of the Nations, like France, England, China, Japan, Canada, the ones that are the closest to you. I want you to invite them over at your house, maybe offer them a drink, clean up the house before they come, and TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL. And have a serious expression on your face. Look them in the eye, and speak. And if they don't look like they are listening, get their attention. Tap them on the shoulder, say their name-the name you don't really use for them, that way they know they you need their attention- in a stern voice, or the best way to get their attention is to ask them to repeat what you said. If they hesitate or take time to answer, then they obviously weren't listening.  
Anyway, I have to go. I'm tired. But what I'm trying to say is: America, talk to someone. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but I am saying that this is your chance to speak your mind. Show them ho smart you are.

-Amy Kitty Katz

I remember when I was younger, I had gone through some really bad depression and had suicidal thoughts. It really is bad when people make fun of you and say you'd be better off dead. I remember I would take loads of my prescription medication...because I had been horribly treated...and the depression had become too much.

Alfred, you are a strong individual and I know you're a fighter. If you'd ever need someone to talk to about something that hurts you, I'd be more than happy to be that person.

-RussianChinaDoll

- - - -  
**Anyone else thinks that the states are places on Alfies body and real kids? Anyways thanks for the reviews! And the person who reviewed as America one thing I gotta say. Thanks for calling me a dick! Don't see how this offended you if you and me are both no where close to being America and are just pretending/role playing(?). But whatever. I want to write this and you want to review. That's ok with me, just shows me who you are.**

**And to those who positively reviewed,**

**Thank you. You guys make me smile with your reviews, and, even though I know there for America, they're touching. You guys are wonderful motivation speakers and I swear the inner America of me wants to jump up and hug you dudes.**

**(•u•)**

**[You like that stupid face I made don't you. No? Oh well. :3]**


	4. Chapter 4

**America turns on camcorder having a slight confused but amused look on his face. He is on a swivel chair near the bed.**

Hey... So uh remember the meeting? Well when I was leaving the White House I bumped into Obama he asked why I was covered in lint and dust.  
So I said Cause I'm the freedom country. Luckily he just walked away muttering something about putting a microchip GPA thingy on me...

Anyways a few days ago, Japan called me to ask me over to his house for some reason... I don't know exactly why.

And when I got there I was tackled. By the asian siblings. Except China though. So I 'sit' on the ground and we all look at each other...

So I say,

"Why the sudden invitation?"

And Japan says,

"Well thank Korea. He wanted to do something for you because, just like us, he observed that you were a BIT off?"

Duddddeeee I love it when he rolls his L's like R's. ITS AN AWESOME ACCENT.

Anyways,

I go up and fucking tackle Korea in a bro friendly way. The kid's awesome.

So Taiwan starts placing food in front of us. And forgive me but I forgot how to eat with chopsticks...Tears. But luckily I always have Mr. Fork and Mrs. Spoon with. Always gotta be prepared dudes. Always.

So I'm a bit embarrassed 'cause I'm the only one eating American style...Even though a bunch of other and older countries eat this way...

Then I start remembering to thank Japan. (Thank you Amy!)

"Japan, dude! Thanks for driving my car back to my house!"

"That was rike a week ago..."

See? Rike. Can't be better than that.

"Well yeah but I don't think I said thanks."

"Ok. Anything new? What about those videos you posted on Facebook?"

Hong Kong looks up and says,

"What videos?"

That dude is damn serious. I think he has a better poker face than Japan.

I fake a cough and poke my sushi noodle thing meal with a fork.

"N-Nothing big. Don't worry about it Hong Kong..."

In which Japan gets up and looks at me. And damn does he look pissed on the inside.

"America. Explain. Now."

I sigh and just stare at my sushi.

"It's nothing."

And oh god...Heh...heh...HAHAHA! My gosh I can't help but laugh at this! THE ASIAN TACKLED ME!... Back to the story.

"America!"

"Y-Yes?"

Dude his eyes ducking turned red! THAT MADE ME SPUTTER OF COURSE!

"Tell us. Now."

Ohhhhhh shit. That look almost made me piss my pants.

**America looks down.**

...

No I'm good. Forget that ever happened.

So there I am with a expression of angry but scared, shock!

...

His eyes where still red btw.

Anyways, I was all like,

"Heh. Tell you what exactly?"

"Well why of course! America don't play like that! Why would you?!"

If course I was panicking and looking for an escape.

But

A) I was still pinned  
B) The door was locked  
C) The rest of the siblings were blocking me.

Fuck my life.

"Well ya know. Eh...Hormones?"

"AMERICA!"

"Jeez dude you can be loud as hell! That's not right. Fine. I did it several times because...I was tired of all my problems, the hate, uselessness, the usual."

Japan's eyes started to turn back to their normal color. Thank god, I was this close to pissing my good pants. Not cool guys. NOT COOL AT ALL.

Oh and in case you guys didn't notice I fixed my camcorder!

HELL YEAH!

**America air pumps(?)**

Anyways...

Japan gets off of me and looks sad. I felt guilty because some how by hurting me, I hurt them.

He sighs and takes a look at my neck.

"The marks are still there."

At first I was really confused and then I remember how I mentioned the uh...*cough*...hanging...

God that was fucked up wasn't it?

"Heh. Well yeah dude, it's only been a month and it was like for an hour..."

And during that I was thinking,

WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING?!

Japan looks really frustrated.

"Just why the hell, why the hell, would you want to kill yourself!"

"... I told you."

"America! Just why?! No one hates you! Who-"

"Pakistan, Turkey, Greece, Egypt. Should I continue?"

"They don't hate you!"

"Japan they hate me! Pakistan likes me 11%, Egypt 16%, Turkey 21%, and Greece 39%! Fucking look it up! And ever since 2003 European countries' positive views on me have lowered! You and England are almost like my only friends in the G8 that I meet up with and then the other countries that like me is because of the aid I provide! And I never usually have time to even talk to them! SO JUST GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT!"

"AMERICA WE CARE DAMN IT!"

Everyone just stared in Japan in shock. I just kept facing the paper door thing.

"Then prove it. So far I see nothing but future abuse. Leave me alone."

And here I am.

On my bed. Thinking.

Thinking so much I haven't slept for 3 whole days. Whyyyy?! I've been taking sleeping pills and junk but that crap doesn't work...

I keep thinking about what France and Japan say. I'm a God? Really? You guys really think so? That's a bit fucked up in my opinion. And maybe they do care but I just don't feel the love.

*sigh*

I'm so wasting your time right now, huh?

Sorry dudes. I'm just not in a really awesome mood. Lack of sleep maybe?

I hope so.

Life isn't a cartoon were everything falls into place in order. Either you make it or brake it in a series of twist and turns. Even though I made it several times, I'm starting to break, kiddos. Break like the piece of glass I am.

Amy thanks for telling me that it's ok to cry. Makes me feel a lot better and less ashamed of myself.

ProudAmerican I'll take that to mind. Except one time, I did make a few friends. Y'all know Amelia Earhart, Walt Disney, Marilyn Monroe etc.

Yeah I would hang with them.

But the thing is they died.

I once had a crush on a beautiful girl back in the 1800's few years after the Civil War. She loved me and I loved her. She even offered the idea of us getting married, can you believe it? But I left her and told one of my friends to take care of her. When I came back 50 years later they were married and happy. Which made me happy. When she saw me though, she cried. She understood then why I left her. Because a nation and a human can't fall in love. I went to her funeral and I cried harder than when England would leave me on those nights. And I thought I couldn't love again. Sure I found some interests but that's all they were, interests. A few days before the depression my heart was fully mended and then well, you know the rest. Blah blah suicide etc.

And LastofUs don't hate France ok? He's just french that's all.

Well by guys. I'm now entering day four of sleepless nights.

Good night.

**America lazily turns of camera.**

000000000000000

Video #4 was posted on Facebook on October 21, 2013.

Views: 59,764  
Views that were countries: 10+  
Country(ies) that saw this:  
Too many to list.

Comments:

America, sweetie, a bathroom stall is not the best place to do a video..  
I'm glad you took some of your viewer's advice and told someone. I know it was hard for you, but I'm glad you did it. And don't think that France blowing you off was anything towards you. He probably didn't want to believe what he just heard. I know when I told my parents I was suicidal, they were the same way. I'll tell you more later, if you want. I have to stay on topic for now. I'm sorry that you felt alone and broken, and that nobody was there for you. I, as will as many others, will ALWAYS be here for you. No matter what. Even after you get better, which I know you will, I did too, we will still be here if you ever need to talk. I PROMISE. That's what the word 'always' was created for right? For eternity and beyond.  
And you should probably thank Japan for driving back your car.  
And I agree with France on one ting. You are basically a God. A God that everyone loves. Even if they treat you like an ass, they love you. My brother and I treat each other like shit, but we still love each other...most of the times, anyway.  
As for England finding out, hearing it from France wasn't practically good. Hearing something from someone else is NEVER good. Because who knows who they'll tell next.  
And don't run away from your fears, face them. Become strong, mentally.  
And crying is not weak. I don't want to hear you say that anymore. IT just shows how strong you've been, and all the pain you've been hiding. I once heard a quote, here, think about this:  
"There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love." - Washington Irving  
This is by far my favorite quote. This quote itself speaks more than our own minds can ever say.  
Speak to Canada. He is your brother after all. But not at a World Meeting, where there is a risk of people overhearing. But take your time. Talk slowly, calmly, and pause when you need to. Because he will stay. I know he will. Because he loves you. And don't be afraid to cry. It's not weak at all.  
Greece? Maybe I should talk to him. Maybe I should come to the next WM and meet him. (jk)  
And I'm glad I could make you feel awesome and yourself. There is no better feeling then to feel, well, FREE! Ad I'm also happy to hear my comment made you feel alive. I hope you stay alive, too. Because you deserve to live.  
Anyway, off I go. I have school tomorrow and it starts early!  
-Amy Kitty Katz (You can just call me 'Amy' or 'Kitty', whichever you prefer)

Oh darling! You're alright, everything is gonna get better from here on out! How do I know? Because I'll happily be your friend, and I'm sure others would be too! You just have to look harder, Alfred. Don't try to make friends with JUST the other nations, make friends with the PEOPLE too. You'll do great, sweetie! I'm happy to be apart of your amazing, beautiful country! I'm proud to be an American!  
~Anonymous Proud American

Igonnzacryigonnzacry  
LIKE REALLY I ALMOST CRIED SEEING WHAT HAPPENED WITH FRANCE AND LIEK RUGUUGUUG I HATE HIM SO MUCH  
-TheLastofUs  
(I changed one word and erased the update soon. Was that fine?)  
0000000000o

**America doesn't deserve the type of abuse he is receiving from some other countries. Any ideas? Please share if you wish. Remember you can personify as other nations ^^**


	5. Chapter 5

**America turns in camera and places head on desk, groaning.**

I can't do this...

I'm so fucking tired! BUT I CANT FALL ASLEEP!

Well that's a lie. I fell asleep for a hour but that's it. It's my sixth day without a good sleep.

But in the hour I had a dream.

A really scary one.

I was walking around in darkness. There was nothing. Just me.

So I take in my surroundings and start walking. And then, the more I walk, the more things I see.

The sky us a dark bloody purple color, the coulds black, the trees old and dead, the grass gray, brown, and black.

But I keep walking.

Soon I see a tree in which I have a strange feeling to get closer to and...

Then...

I can't do this. I can't say this...if I say this I will scar you guys...maybe...I wouldn't recommend it though... Just skip to 3:45 (skip the bold words) if you're not into scary junk.

**(A/N: I don't usually do this in the middle of the story because it pisses me off greatly so yeah this might hopefully be the last wanted to say that I recommend that you guys listen to hetalia - The Most Horrifying Maru Kaite Chikyuu so you can get the feeling. PLZ. And if not ok then...:( but it's up to you)**

**I looked up and saw several nooses dripping blood. Soon there was a crack of lightning and everyone was hanging from their own noose, with a number marked in their noose. England was there, hanging, dead. France, Japan, Italy, everyone was hanging from their own noose. Japan had the number 9. Italy the number 17. China had 4 and so on. Few countries had repeated numbers.**

**I don't know how I knew but these were each countries views of bad luck numbers.**

**Then another strike of lighting came and I saw that their eye sockets were black and empty dripping blood.**

**But I just stood there.**

**I was horrified. I wanted to run for my life. **

**But instead I stood.**

**Soon a tree grew from behind me. It had my memories: lost and forgotten, happy and sad, useless and important. It had a gigantic noose that seemed too perfect for my neck. It had the number 13 carved on the wood. I looked around me and saw England's dead body swinging from side to side until it stopped. Soon the others did that. Not as long as England but close.**

**A gigantic slab of stone shot upward from the ground. It read,**

**He was blind**

**Stupid and lame**

**Love he thought he could find**

**But turns out everything was the same**

**Doesn't he know **

**Thirteen is bad**

**Can his intelligence you show?**

**Surely he must have been mad**

**Out of the number thirteen you were born**

**Destruction you will bring**

**Looks upon you will be full of scorn**

**Death will be what you sing**

**Thirteen colonies**

**Thirteen stripes**

**Evil as can be**

**Everyone you will spite **

**My darling you were destined**

**To get bad luck**

**Fate was something that got messed with **

**Destiny hated your guts **

**So as you hang with your friends**

**Who tried to save you**

**It's true**

**Listen to one thing I must say**

**They died for you**

**But you died for whom?**

**Soon as I look up I see myself walking to the noose. Is this what I want? To join them in their eternal slumber?**

**I shake my head yes and prepare the noose as if I was a pro.**

**Then I hear moaning. I look up and see that all the countries are now bloodier then before, still missing their eyes. It seemed as if they didn't want me to.**

**Soon one of them takes off the noose and walks towards me like a person who was actually alive. You could see their skin color perfectly, their mouth, clothes, everything. They were just bloody and missing eyes, but somehow were able to cry the bloody tears.**

**I recognize it as Rome.**

**He takes out his sword and simply aims it at me. He says nothing. Does nothing. Soon every other nation does the same pointing whatever weapon they have at me. **

**But I don't panic.**

**"Please don't die. Don't be like us were our souls have shriveled and time has harden our hearts, fate killing our happiness. Stay young as much as you can. Please don't die. Don't. Die."**

**I just stood in the middle of the creatures. They started to smile baring their sad pointy teeth. The noose lowered. I smiled.**

**I DONT KNOW WHY I JUST DID OK?!**

**"It's over. You monsters never really cared."**

**But soon they whisper,**

**"Allies."**

**"Friends."**

**"Trade."**

**"America."**

**"Life."**

**"Source."**

**"Freedom."**

**"Brave."**

**"Our hero."**

**The last two words shook me hard.**

**"Am I really your hero?"**

**They weakly smiled and returned to their nooses, under the big black tree they shared.**

**The sun soon came up and demolished everything. All there was was one noose and the number thirteen.**

That's all.

I DONT CARE IF YOU READ SCARIER SHIT THAT DREAMED FUCKED ME UP BIG.

So I'm just sitting on my bed scarred for life.

And then I get a call.

From Canada.

And I answer in a shaky voice cause all I see when I think of Canada is black pupil-less Canada.

And that ain't right.

"H-Hey bro what's up?"

"What's your problem?"

"W-What are y-you talking about?"

"What's up with you? You're acting weird."

"I uh had a nightmare."

"Care to share bro?"

Well what the hell happened overnight?! It's like we switched personalities!

"Ehhhhhhh..."

"...Well?"

"So um there's a weird scenery and then-"

And then you guys know the rest.

"Abu reason you called?"

"Uh yeah just wondering why...uh...you know. Concerning...well...that."

"Oh. That."

"Yeah."

"Dude it's simple. I suck. I'm surprised you haven't braked. You're always getting ignored."

"Shut up America."

"Rude."

"America you're ok right?"

"No. I haven't slept for days."

"How come?"

"Thinking I guess. I don't know."

"Ok. Just don't kill yourself ok?"

"Yeah yeah yeah. I made up my mind ya know. I ain't gonna kill

Myself but it won't change weather people care about me."

"America please understand-"

"Don't even start bro. I understand completely the reality of this world. aa you guys dont. Fuck off."

And with that I hung up.

He called a few times again and I ignored him.

On the fifth time I snapped.

"FUCK OFF CANADA! GO FUCK A MOOSE OR SOMETHING! I DONT CARE JUST STOP CALLING ME!"

Rude I know but I was pissed.

"..."

"HANG UP ALREADY."

"This is England."

"I SAID- England? Oh...Uh hullo. Amerika isn't here vright now. Leave a message at ze beep. Beeep."

"What kinda bloody accent was that?"

"Shut up England."

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you?"

"Whadda ya think?"

"I think that you need help."

"No shit sherlock."

"Then why don't you get any genius?"

"Cause everyone hates me duh."

"Has anyone ever told you they hate you?"

"I dunno."

"Then why do you think that."

"Because the people-"

"The people and nations are two different things."

"Says who? The people are the nation. The people is what the nation is built upon. Their thoughts, their ideas, their words."

"That's exactly your problem. Your so used to the fact people are cramming in your head that the people determine everything."

"Well that's why we have bosses that are human."

"Well a person and a nation are two different things. A nation has their own feelings."

"That are determined by the people."

"Oh really? Then why is it some of your congressmen are making such ridiculous plans at times. Don't you have your own opinion? Aren't you the freedom country?"

"England-"

"Just because the people hate you doesn't mean the nations hate you now does it?"

"..."

"Well?"

"I'm not in the mood. I'm tired. Go away."

"Fine. Good night...It is still night correct?"

"I don't know I got the drapes down. Goodbye."

So there I am. Still thinking.

But yeah you have a point. Many others have been through worse. You got a point there. It's just I got the world on my shoulders. But I can only carry so much.

You might have it worse, but you still have faith. I lost mine. I think there is no faith for a country. I pity the nation that has or still thinks so. But something good will happen I guess so thanks for the support guys.

I mean look at me. I'm full of problems. Anybody wanna take a guess at my future?

No?

Ok.

Fuzzlecakes, even though I know u shouldn't be saying this cause that's technically supporting violence, thank you. You are a true friend. If anything I'll be your partner in crime! Hah!

Canada bro, Sorry for yelling at you. And I honestly don't know what I'm doing.

Maybe I'll check with Prussia. I don't know. And tell Pennsylvania that she rocks and will always have a place in my heart.

I'll try to be better I'll promise. I'm feeling sleepier so that's good. I need a rest. You guys are cool beans.

Night I guess. I don't know. The drapes are down.

So bye bye.

Talk to you in a couple of weeks. My agendas packed.

Got 8 meetings. No sleep so far. Yay me.

-rrrrrrrrrrr-

Video #5 was posted on Facebook on October 23, 2013.

Views: 99,4643

Views that were countries: 30+

Country(ies) that saw this:

Too many to list.

Comments:

Heyo.

I know, I'm supposed to write a long ass essay on how America's an awesome country (which is very much true) etc etc etc. but I'm just gonna say one thing.

If anybody. Ever. Says. You. Aren't. Perfect.

If anybody ever says a single damn bad thing towards you.

If anybody hurts you.

I'll make sure they die very, very painfully. Don't worry, they won't have time to regret a thing.

I just want you to be happy, friend.

Fuzzlecakes

America, pull through the depression. I've felt worse. grab depression by the ear and through it out the window(figuratively, I don't think depression is a tangible object, and that could break your window)

F*** suicide

Bemony'n'Menisha

America honey I want to thank you for telling us about you're lost loves and friends and truly opening up to us, cause yeah it's sometimes easier to talk to complete strangers than it is to you're best friends. And while I admit that you should talk to your brother about this...have you thought of talking to and here me out on this but Prussia? Yes he's an ass but deep down I know he really cares. And I want you to remember this Pennsylvanian loves you with all her heart.

27Kitten1313

America..? I don't... Understand what you're doing here. I can only hope you're not serious.

-Canada (TheLastofUs)

-/((()65422

**Brick by boring brick. good song. To all youse who listened to the song, cookie. To those who tried to read and listen, cookie. To those who didn't...half cookie... I feel terrible for writing this now idk why. poor MURICA I'm sorry**


	6. Chapter 6

Here I am in the tent. Sorry it's a bit dark you guys. But yeah. Today was a wonderful camping trip and I missed most of my meetings. I'm leaving tomorrow 'cause Obama threatened to skin me alive if I don't attend the World Meeting.

I feel so loved.

Anyways let me tell you about the trip. It was alright. When I drived out if the city I actually paid attention to my scenery. And damn am I good looking! Just don't remind me of the dumps...

But yeah when I reached who's it's what's it camping site, they confiscated all our technology. Hah! But I hid mine cause I'm awesome. Do they really think people are just gonna hand over their electronics? LOL.

So our first trip was hiking. I was way behind the group, because I wanted to be alone. But soon a girl with glasses and brown hair came up to me.

"Hi! What's your name?"

"Alfred. And yours?"

"Angel. So are you gonna catch up or what?"

"Naw I think I'm gonna hang with my friend plantie and my bro tree."

Silence.

She snickered but quickly said,

"Are you a hippie?"

"Uh...Not really. No. Why?" I was confused like hell but whatever.

"No reason!"

So she stayed by my side and we started to chat about random crap like life and shit.

There was a river where a bunch of fish swam. She tried catching one and fell. She looked embarrassed and just like sat there. So me being the awesome hero I am, grabbed her arm and picked her up.

She smiled faintly and we just kept on walking.

We catch up to the group and start building up the campsite. I finish setting up my tent and crawled in thinking about the missed meetings. I shrugged it off and went outside. They were cooking hotdogs, burgers, and s'mores.

Yum!

We started to fly kites, and mine got stuck in the tree. So I climbed the tree and almost cracked my head open when I slipped and fell. I landed on my head but just started laughing.

So for a whole six days we did the same thing. Sing, eat, dance, swim in a lake, pond, whichever was available, do crafts, and just talk.

Today before we went to sleep, I got in a conversation with my group. Angel was saying how her boyfriend was a total ass and she was going to break up with him when she got back to her home. Jackie had really dark brown hair or black hair and Ray Ban glasses that covered his nourish greenish eyes. Gil was a tall blond with brownish grayish eyes who shook his head and passed me a basketball. I twirled it and threw it back.

"So Alfred what about you?"

"Huh?"

"Why are you on this camping trip?"

"Uh...I need to interact more often."

"Oh. Lucky. At least it's not bad as ours."

I got seriously confused.

"What?"

"Well Angel's here because if her abusive relationship with what's his name, I'm here because I only have friends here and at school people completely ignore me, and Jackie's here because his parents supposedly don't want him. That's why this camp is called Escape to Happiness. All you have is being more interactive. Wish we had it as easy as you kiddo."

"Trust me, I suffered so much it's not cool."

"Have you ever been abused?" Angel whispered tears starting to form.

"N-No not really."

"Has you're parents ever kicked you out of the house for a month just because you were gay? Or just because you weren't as perfect as your brother?" Jackie said, fury in his eyes.

"No..."

"Have you ever been ignored so much that you just wanted to die? That you wanted to run away and leave everything behind?" Gil simply said.

"...I don't think so."

"Then why are you so sad like? You should be happy."

"It's because everyone hates me for things I've done to them."

"We don't hate you." Jackie replied fixing his glasses.

"You guys don't know the real me.."

"The real you is a hero for sure Alfie." Angel responded, cleaning her spectacles.

"You helped us these six days dudes. To those who hate you, well fuck them. They're missing out. If they can't let go of the past, well may shit rain on those bitches." Gil muttered, running his fingers through his blond hair.

"Yeah bro. No one really hates anyone. It's fucked up. You go into one of their get togethers or whatever crazy shit they do and say, "I want YOU to stop fucking around, get your shit straight, and stop HATIN' on my fantabulous package." Jackie announced, opening a coke bottle.

That crap made me laugh like hell.

"So stop being a baby, and be a hero dude!" Gil yelled.

I laughed and nodded my head.

"I'll try dudes and dudette. I'll try." I smirked, popping the cap off a coke.

"You better or else I'll fuck your sanity up sooo bad..." Angel threatened.

"Trust me my 'friends' are crazier than you."

After a couple of giggles and laughed there was silence.

Everyone looked around and sipped on their beverages.

Until Gil had to open his mouth.

"Dude I'm like the only one here without glasses!" Gil joked.

"Nuh uh! These aren't prescribed!" Jackie shouted back.

Gil smiled and Jackie said a chorus of ohhhhhhh and they started rapping a weird song.

"I got ray ban vision, these ain't no prescriptions

I see you haters coming niggas don't think that I'm slippin

I got ray ban vision, I wear 'em when I'm whippin

I wear 'em when I'm fuc-"

Before they could even finish that verse, Angel through her empty bottle at Gil and Jackie and said,

"Finish that sentence and you die."

I laughed my ass off. After exchanging numbers, we slipped into our sleeping bags.

It felt pretty good actually. If they could be happy why can't I? They got a point.

Oh yeah. Tomorrow. I'm leaving for the meeting. So yeah.

Night guys!

-/ / / / 33333

Hey. What's up you guys? So uh funny thing...I had a world meeting yesterday and...well...all eyes on me.

Which sucked.

But the thing was...The feelings seemed genuine...

Boop the sound of the elevator of guilt rising a floor.

"So uh we gonna start this meeting or what?" I mumbled.

In which bossy Germany replied,

"So America care to explain why you missed 1 G8 meeting, 1 UN meeting, and 6meetings with other fellow nations and their leaders? Only your boss was there. And you know the rules."

"Jeez I needed a brake. I'm here now. Just leave me alone."

"You've been saying that a lot..."

Everyone turned to the mysterious voice. I got confused but then I realized that was Canada.

Canada got up and just asked me this, looking me straight in the eyes.

"Why?"

I stood there quietly in shock. Memories started to flood in my head, the ones from the dreams. As I stared at Canada, I had memories of 1812. I rubbed my eyes and looked at China. I saw the number 4 hovering above him which took me aback. I cleaned my glasses and put them back on.

It was gone.

I panicked because it wasn't normal to hallucinate.

"America please answer me. Stop being negative. Go back to the fun loving nation you where. Back to the hamburger loving, loud mouth, brother I knew you as. Please."

I don't know what happened how I was laughing a few days ago and now I'm shit.

"I-I...H-How...How can you forgive me?" I chocked out, as the hallucinations became stronger.

The bombs, the screams, tears.

"F-Fuck..." I gasped.

Canada took a step close and said,

"There is nothing to forgive. You haven't done anything wrong. Please America stop blocking us out."

I took those words to heart.

I was blocking them out wasn't I?

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I fucked with you guys! DO ME A FAVOR AND JUST LET ME TRY AND GET MY SHIT TOGETHER! I'M SORRY OK?!"

And I looked at everyone, tears streaming down my eyes mouthing the words I'm sorry.

And I ran off.

I don't think I can keep doing this guys. But I'll keep your comments in my mind. I love it how you guys care. I'm just running off to clear my mind don't worry. Maybe I'll take some motivational classes.

So...Goodbye. For a month possibly. I'm not gonna be using my FB cause I'm off for awhile.

Have a nice life.

-33333

Views: 1K+

Comments:

10/29 c5KHPkmnSpecial25  
What. The. Heck.  
How dare you. What is the point of these videos? What is the point of this so-called depression that would get you to suicidal actions? What in the world possessed you to believe that others hate you?  
I hate what you're doing.  
Srok Americh. America. The supernation that has everything.  
The hero of the world.  
You interact in all the large groups, sometimes sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, yes, but always in good intention. You're strong enough to stick through with your decisions, and always seem to make it look positive in your light. There's no way that light can be extinguished. Absolutely no way.  
Nations, no, PEOPLE like you can't be hated. Like past commenters have said, no one can truly hate another. And with someone as influential and motivated as you... I'd never had thought...  
...why...?  
Sorry, I just can't accept this. You're amazing, Alfred. AMAZING. Don't let yourself believe otherwise. People and nations don't look up to you, don't respect you, don't want you to make connections or at least just 'notice' them, just because you're a beneficial nation.  
It's because of who you are.  
You and your country have so much potential and resources that shines along WITH your personality. It'd be a waste to end your life with all that still around you. Take me. I'm a tiny country, still trying to rebuild myself up from the Khmer Rouge. I have no idea if I can even trust my own sister. I lost everything and was beaten and abused by my old boss. My people suffered so much, with undeserved deaths plaguing their lives by taking their loved ones. If anyone should feel suicidal, what with my politics, government, and relations even today, it should be me.  
But then there's you.  
You're thriving successfully in your beautiful land. Filled with beautiful people with beautiful minds. There are flaws, but ingenuity that helps showcase how even the flaws are just what makes you unique. Your land uniquely America. Appreciate it. Live in it. America truly is beautiful. And anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot.  
If it means anything to you, I don't hate you. I can never hate you. I forgive you for Operation Menu, as well. You didn't know your boss at the time had done it until it was too late. He was desperate to find Vietnam, but my sister was too clever for him. I know it wasn't your fault that the bombs dropped on my capital, and that you objected to it the entire way. It means a lot for me that you, Alfred F. 'freakin' beautiful' Jones protested so angrily with your people.  
You aren't solely your country, and even 'if' you were, no one hates you. Keep living on. Give me another reason to admire you.

- Sopheap (Cambodia)

America, I know how you feel. I use to be bullied in school when I was little and no one wanted to be my friend because if it. I know what it feels like to be depressed but I was lucky of enough not to get to the point of suicidal but don't let the other countries keep you down. Always look on the bright side and always look for the good in people. That's how I made out. Try to talk to a complete stranger instead of someone your close to. It's much easier to talk to someone who can't judge than someone who already has. Believe me it's helps, a lot. But remember to always look on the bright side and the goodness in people. I will always and forever be your friend, never forget that because I am pround to be an America!

-The Unforgettable Beauty

Hello Alfred! I just want you to know, not everybody hates you, your citizens all love you! I'm a proud American, even when we go through troubles, I know that shit gets bad but you have to keep your head up, and don't let anybody push it down! (Omg. My heart. It aches. You poor bastard.)

-Kat

Sweetheart I want you to do me a favor. I want you to get out of D.C or New York City or where ever these meeting are and I want you to spend a week in your land. And I don't mean another city, I mean go to some small town or national park and walk around, talk to your people, have some smores and leave your phone off. Cause to hell with meetings and government bullshit get your butt out here to Pennsylvania and bag your ass a deer and if anyone has a problem with that they'll have to deal with me. I'll get off my soap box for a second to tell you that Pennsylvania loves you too and wants to help you through this anyway she can and she knows the humiliation of bankruptcy and shitty bosses but she's stronger for it. And last she says to say and I agree God zegene u America.

-Kitten

**-3-3-3**

**HELL NO THIS IS NOT OVER. NOT DA LAST CHAPTER. I won't have another video until Ch. 8 and Americas not doing that Iggy, Francie pants, and Canadia are doing it. **

**GAH HOW DO YOU GUYS LOVE THIS?!**

**'MURICAS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER AND LOOK AT WHAT I DO TO HIM! I'M SORRY AMERICA! D:**


	7. Chapter 7

America ran into his room and tore apart his duffel bag from the camping trip until he found the numbers. He ran to dial them and impatiently waited.

"C'mon answer..answer..."

"Hello? Who ever this is, Make this quick buddy I got a fifteen minute limit on using my phone."

"ANGEL! You guys are still at the camp site right?!"

"Alfred? Uh...Yup. Why what's up?"

"Can you and, tell the others, that I want to meet you guys today at, like, I don't know seven? At Wiltson Park?!"

"I'll be there. Just hold up..."

America tapped his foot impatiently as he heard voices.

"It's Alfie...Wiltson Park meet up today...ok?..."

"Ok so the guys are in. We'll make up an excuse and meet you up at the entrance. And remember to bring a jacket or something dude it's cold as hell."

"Yeah ok. Thanks."

"No prob."  
-ooooo-

America sat on the bench wearing his hoodie that said,

I want YOU to shut up.

Soon he saw Angel with a hat, scarf, leggings, a skirt, winter boots, and a winter coat. Gil was wearing a regular hoodie and a beanie along with worn down jeans and combat boots. Jackie was wearing his black Ray Ban, a New York Yankees baseball cap, a scarf, sneakers, and skinny jeans. His long sleeved shirt said,

Fuck off I'm awesome.

Which was covered with a leather jacket. America sighed and rubbed his arms to keep from getting cold. Angel sat next to him, Gil stood to the side, and Jackie on the bench table.

"So what's up Alfie?" Angel asked.

"I-I don't feel so good. Can I stay over at one of your places?"

Jackie raised his hand.

"I live in my own place. Can't stand the demons people call parents.

Alfred mumbled a quick thank you and coughed.

"Dudes what's wrong?" Gil asked.

"I-I broke down at a meeting today...They care for me so much...I hate myself."

"But why? They love you don't they?"

"That's my point. They love me so much that when I inflict pain or say bad things about me, it just hurts them even more. I don't want to do that. I don't want to cause pain...They forgive me so easily...Its not fair...They should hate me..." America replied, cough even harder.

"Dude I think you have a fever..." Gil said worriedly.

"D-Don't worry about it. I get these from time to time depending on...uh stuff...or because I got myself sick." America muttered, as he started to hack.

Jackie took off his scarf and placed it on America.

"Bro your sick. C'mon let's head to my place."

America weakly smiled and mumbled a thank you.

Angel gave America a hug and Gil shook his hand.

"See you soon. Should we meet up next week?"

America looked at Gil and shrugged.

"If it's ok with you."

Soon they went their ways, and as Jackie led America to his car, America felt something missing.

~~~~~oooooo~~~~

"England help me! Someone help me!" America yelled.

He was in complete darkness.

"America! Hold on!"

"England?!"

"Amerika! We'll be right there!"

"Japan is that you? Where are the others?"

"Brother! Don't let go!"

"Canada?! Let go of what?!"

"Of your hope!"

America spun around and saw that a light shone on him. He was wearing puppet strings. A giant yank on his right arm made him scream. He looked up and saw that his puppeteer was not one but five. They smiled, pulling on his strings harder and harder, making America scream louder each time.

"Dance our little marionette. Smile while you dance?. Don't want to disappoint as much as you already did, do you?"

Soon they stop and let him fall. He cried as the sores made themselves clearer and more painful to bear. Soon he saw Canada in front of him, holding his hand out. Then England flickered out of nowhere next to Canada. On Canada's left was France, who also held out his hand.

Three of his beloved puppeteers.

America looked up to them and started crying saying,

"I'm sorry for not smiling like the perfect marionette! I'm sorry!"

America woke up and cried as Jackie ran to him and put his arms around America.

"I'm sorry Matthew, I'm sorry Arthur, I'm sorry Francis!" America sputtered.

Jackie sighed and looked at the taller male.

"Now I don't know who the hell those people are but I know one thing. You do not have to apologize for anything."

America wiped his tears, grabbed his iPod, and started to blast out hardcore rock.

"How do I face my fears?" he whispered, leaning against Jackie.

"Well why don't you go up to them. What are you so scared of?" Jackie asked digging through his jacket pocket.

"Being more of a disappointment to my friends than I already am..." America mumbled as the room started to fill up with smoke. Coughing slightly, he turned to see Jackie with a cigarette.

"Er...Sorry. I'll throw it away if-"

"Nah, it's ok..." He hoarsely whispered, covering his mouth.

Jackie kept on smoking and said, "Any day you need to go back, I'll be ready to drop you off to help you. Alfred you're a good person. Don't beat yourself up."

America sighed and slowly nodded.

"One day. Thanks Jackie."

"No problem. Did you hear about the game last- OH SHIT!" Jackie grabbed-correction, dove- for America's iPod.

"WHAT?!" America yelled in panic.

"I LOVE THIS SONG!" Jackie yelled turning up the volume as 'The Drug In Me Is You'

America laughed. And this time it was one of his golden boy laughs.

The real ones.

|-oooo~two days later~oooo-|

Jackie grappled the keys to the car and walked towards the door.

"Hey Alfred! I'm going to buy some college shit! You going to need something or what?! Uh...besides food..."

America looked up from his breakfast of six loaves of bread, ten bacon strips, and five eggs along with two glasses of orange juice. He swallowed the shit load and thought.

"Uh yeah...Can you make a quick trip to Office Depot and buy me a stack of printer paper and some headphones? Hold on I'm gonna get the money..."

America started to dig through his pockets, searching for his wallet, a bacon strip hanging from his mouth. His eyes widened and and he almost knocked down the chair as he hurried back to the guest room. Jackie stood at the door a bit worried. After ten minutes, he uneasily started to walk towards his guest room. And he almost cussed out every living thing when he saw the chaos.

The mattress was overturned, the dresser fell to the ground, the drapes on the floor, the painting tilted...so in short America fucked up the room big time.

"I CAN'T FIND IT!" America shouted, while Jackie kneeled down to the drapes and held them tight.

"Limited edition..." He jokingly whispered.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Jackie screeched.

"I LOST MY WALLET!" America yelled.

Jackie twitched and muttered,

"What will $200 do for you?"

Alfred put his hands on his hip and said,

"Four hundred actually, and I had pictures of my friends and memories! One of a kind! One in a million! It's my life!"

Jackie sighed and nodded his head.

"We're going to your house to check then. And after that college supplies ok?"

"Deal."

|-••••••earlier that day•••••-|

England sighed as he looked around the house. France and Canada started climbing up the stairs. Canada looked at England and motioned his head.

"He's been missing for almost a week. I'm dreadfully worried..."

"We all are England. C'mon let's go upstairs."

"To do what? I doubt this will work." England whispered.

"Heh, England he's American. He's on a social network 24/7. He should see this video."

England sighed and slowly nodded. Before following, he spied a wallet. Grabbing it, he looked and saw cash and one of those things where when you open it you have a whole line of pictures falling down. It was full of memories ever since the camera was invented.

England smiled slightly and placed it in his back pocket.  
-::::::::99999::::_

Were was I? Loong story short my use of typing was confiscated. So ya. To those who commented last chappie America says thanks!


End file.
